Friday, April 18, 2008

Day 94 and 95: I got lazy and stupid

Totally failed to post yesterday out of shear laziness. Okay, but I've got an excuse. First I spent my morning over at the Indy office figuring out some work I'll be doing for the arts pages in the coming weeks. Then I spent my afternoon dinking around. But, I also had family home evening with Tom of Tomfite.com and his brother Karf. And, wowzers, did we find us a way to make the good times roll.

Many people are unaware that I'm a big fan of mistranslations. A really big fan. I frequently check sites like Engrish.com not out of racist intent, but because I get a chuckle every time. I also, for unknown reasons, always read conservative blogs and columnists who I disagree with – it's the masochist in me. Usually I pick up something like Ann Coulter's newest catastrophuck and read stuff like this:
We don't know much about Obama's audience, other than that four fundraisers were held on April 6 at the homes of San Francisco's rich and mighty, such as Alex Mehran, an Iranian who went into daddy's business and married an IBM heiress, and Gordon Getty, heir to the Getty Oil fortune.

It is not known whether any of Getty's three illegitimate children attended the Obama fundraiser -- which turned out to be more of a McCain fundraiser -- but photos from the event indicate that there were a fair number of armed (and presumably bitter) policemen providing security for the billionaire's soiree.

See, I don't get why she's talking about illegitimate kids, or really anything about people other than Obama. My only guess is she's an idiot, or, possibly, we speak a different language.

That gave Tom, Karf and I an idea on Thursday night: Translate everything one of this pundits says from English to French ("Surrender Monkey") using Babelfish, and then change it back. I tell ya, we're geniuses.

Now see what Ann really meant:
We do not know much about the assistances of Obama, other that that which four fund raisers were held April 6 at the rich and powerful houses of San Francisco, like Alex Mehran, an Iranian who entered the businesses of the dad and married a heiress of IBM, and Gordon Getty, heir with oil fortune to Getty.

It is not known if unspecified of three illegitimate children of Getty were occupied of the fund raiser of Obama -- which proved to be more than one raiser funds of McCain -- but the photographs of the event indicate that there were a number right of police officers armed (and probably land-marks) providing safety for the evening with the billionaire.

Exactly. Now I'm starting to catch on. But, really, the question is what if we changed it from English, to French, to Dutch, and then back to English...
We do not know much concerning the assistance of Obama, other one then which that four collectors of funds has come April 6 by the rich and powerful houses of SanFrancisco, as Alex Mehran, an Iranian who the matter of papa has entered and a heiress of IBM, and Gordon Getty, heir to the capacity of oil of Getty has married.

One does not know it as randomly of three illegitimate children of Getty with the collector of fund of Obama have occupied themselves that has appeared more than one collector of funds of McCain amount to but the photograph of the event to notify that exactly a number of police constables had been armed (and probably bitter) the that security for soiree of the multi-millionaire provides.

Oh..."the matter of papa"...I get it now. But why the switch from "billionaire" to "millionaire"? Ann, you so crazy...

I'd like to say we did this type of crap for 10 minutes or so, but it was over an hour translating crap written by TV "personality" Pat Sajak – who I just learned is an especially conservative Republican. I was shocked. Bruce Willis I understand, Republicans like to blow things up, but Pat Sajak? He's just some lame game show host...oh well. I guess the GOP tent fits a bunch of different people.

All I got going on tonight is the Trampled by Turtles show over at the Otherside. The band kicks ass if anyone else is bored and willing to pay the $12 cover ($10 if you get a ticket at Rudy's today). Oh, and my folks are in town to have dinner and shop at Home Depot

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