Day 99: Two job interviews today...

This morning my Kayne West Alarm Clock (Read: The song "Good Morning" plays) sounded off at 5:40 a.m., otherwise known as, "Before any of you bastards woke up." That meant I was up way too damn early. But whatever. Sometimes that happens.

What was my reason? I had an interview with the United Parcel Service this morning (WTF is it with me and shipping jobs? I was meant to live on a dock). How did it go? Well about three minutes into the 15 minute interview the guy told me, "We don't allow dangling jewelry near the shipping lines." At first I thought, "That makes sense. Luckily I took out of lip ring." WRONG! There it was clanking merely against my teeth. Total self-inflicted pwnage.

I'm not expecting a call back on that one, but oh well. I'm not too depressed about it since I spied this video over at the Onion:

Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

Maybe that's not your type of yuck inducer, but it made me smile just in time for my second interview of the day: Not a job I'll talk about right now. Like I said yesterday – and oddly enough during the interview – it is a job that has some vague relation to my degree, which is a plus.

I'm hoping at least one of the gigs works out because this whole "unemployment" thing is getting me down. The other day Alisia actually described me as "in a transition period." It makes me feel impotent. ("Pat? Oh, his penis is in a transitional period.") I understand that wasn't her intention, but not having a job is kind of emasculating. It makes me a tidbit queasy and sad.

The upside is that tonight we're traveling to see Ben Folds live, making him the latest person to move off of the "Bands Duganz Needs to See Before He Dies List." Stupid Johnny Cash and Elliott Smith used to be on that list but they went and died. Bastards.

Hopefully Mr. Folds breaks out this track tonight:



That'd make me happy.

Anyway kids, I'm out for the day. Hope you're all doing well.