Day 43: Not as tired…kind of

I got more sleep last night, a staggering five hours! Yeah! What a great night of sleep.

Now on to the question on every readers mind: Why have I been losing sleep lately?

Am I going through Indy withdrawals? Am I so bored during the day that I’ve done absolutely nothing and thus am not at all tired? Newly found meth addiction?

No, no, and no.

Actually I’ve just been hanging out having some long – very long actually – conversations with a certain person, who I will call CP. CP and I have only hung out a few times, but each time it’s been for about eight hours, and entire workday of just talking about whatever. I told her about Dan (Dave?) this guy who couldn’t man up for an afternoon and be a pallbearer for my uncle leaving me to do the task, and sob in front of my family. She told me about plenty of non-Duganz related events, which means I’ll leave them off the blog.

Most of the time if I spend more than five hours with a girl I find interesting I search for the “in” moment when I can do the whole romantic lean in/drunken move, that says “I am all that is man,” and yet also says, “please don’t be offended that I kissed you.” But with this girl all I’ve managed is to talk, talk, and talk. I swear. By the time I even have the thought, “hey, is this supposed to be something I pursue in a more romantic manner?” I realize its 4 a.m. and I’m too tired to bother.

This makes me feel weird.

I’m not trying to sound like some womanizer; it’s just that most of the time I don’t spend 16 hours over the course of two pseudo-dates just talking (we never declared them as anything with a purpose so I didn’t go in looking for much of anything). Usually there’s something telling me to do more than just talk. But not in this case. All I’ve wanted to do is talk. I’ve wanted questions answered. I’ve wanted to just know stuff. And this isn’t even about dating, or wanting to date. It just had to do with getting to know this girl.

To some people this probably sounds good or better than my past experiences in knowing women, which range from

Her to me: You should come home with – hic – me.
Me to her: Okay…are you feeling all right?
Her to me: [vomits]

And

Me to her: So…I, uh…Yeah. Hi. I said hello before didn’t I. Well hello again. Remember in Jerry MacGuire? “You had me at hello.” Yeah. So…I’m nervous. Do you ever get nervous? I get nervous. One time this girl wanted to take me home and she vomited on my shoes.
Her to me: I sort of like you.
Me to her: Okay…are you feeling all right?

Being in a situation that just demands the opposite, one that encourages knowing this girl as a friend before even acknowledging small flirtations, it’s, well, much, much better. Much less stressful too. It makes me kind of regret any form of dating women, or even knowing women, that I’ve tried before.

So tonight CP and I are supposed to hang out again…I’m bringing meth… or at least caffeine pills.

I’m so excited. I’m so excited. I’m so…scared Zach.



Or maybe not…